Then Three Come Along at Once!

Yesterday, I was chatted up three times by three different people and I don't think any of them were mental or asking for directions!

It's very surprising that this should happen to me considering I only get chatted up about once a year, so to score a hat-trick... my pheromones must have been going up the wall!

None of them were serious suitors but it was a nice ego boost all the same.

Dog for Sale

I received a generic email from my sister which reads follows:-

By chance is anyone interested in a dog? Serious enquiry!

Hi ! I need a favour...

Our neighbour has a puppy he's giving away (FREE). It's a Dachshund, it's house broken, and it's great with kids.

He's giving it away because his wife says the dog

looks at her funny

when she's undressing and that gives her the creeps.

I think she's just being extra!

If you’re interested, or know someone who is, let me know. Here's a picture of the dog (click here).

Ice Cold Revenge vs. Karma

I'm reading The Seat of the Soul by Gary Zukav and it said don't chase people for revenge; the laws of nature and karma will deal with their soul. But when Gary, when? And why can’t I watch?

Karma: "...action, seen as bringing upon oneself inevitable results, good or bad, either in this life or in a reincarnation..."

Platform Shoes are not for Everyone you know!

Are you brave enough to wear platform shoes?



What a surprise... the female newsreader was very understanding while the anchor men laughed their heads off. Mars & Venus!!

Pain Free, Relatively Inexpensive Way of Enhancing your Cleavage

It's easy! Put on 9 pounds in weight, not 8, not 10, but 9 pounds and your bosom will be spilling out of your 34B bra like Miss Piggy's trotters in tight shoes. It's true! All my friends have realised that the metabolism when you get to around 30 suddenly slows down and their cheesecake and Pinot Grigio consumption suddenly increases to shameful proportions and frequency - hence fabulous cleavage.

Never before has extra-curricular food and alcohol activities had such fabulous results!

Oh... and being pregnant brings about a healthy cleavage too.

Picture: The Beautiful Halle Berry

Was that a sign? If so, I don't like it!

I've just finished reading a mind-blowing email from my friend Michelle. She told me all about her plans for her Party Planning Company and the possibility of taking it to St. Lucia in the near future and lots of other things I can't tell you about just in case it's a secret. But she ended the email with the words "Peace, Love and Chocolate Cake". These were not instructions, but they had an effect on me. So much so, I had to take my 9pm self to the local Tesco's to buy chocolate cake and ice-cream.

I sat down to this late night feast of loveliness with a large glass of red wine and plopped my pink furry slippered feet up on the coffee table. (The children are not allowed to see me do this as it's supposed to be a household no-no.) Anyway, I didn't even get the dessert spoon in my mouth before I saw a moth flying overhead. I batted it away and the bastard moth flew right into my dish of sin.

I think it's fair to admit that a tear rolled down my cheek. Of all the places a moth needs to land... my dish of sin! Why? I had a perfectly normal working 60 watt bulb it could have flitted and flapped around, oh no, it had to wind up in my dessert. So what if I'm putting on weight. If this is a sign to put down the cakes, cheese toasties and deep fried chicken, I'd much prefer a message in a more subtle way.

A moth in my chocolate cake is no way to send me a message dear Jesus, Mary & Joseph!! Unbuttoning my jeans after a meal is a good enough message for me.

Let your Yes mean Yes and your No mean No!

I had a cyclical boiler maintenance check this morning.

I have a slight aversion to maintenance men coming to my home. They make me feel nervous. They always seem to leave carrying my money in their pocket after giving me bad news.

Anyway, Gary the Gas man isn't too bad, he comes every year and it was only a maintenance check so unless he was going to find some fault, there was nothing to worry about in terms of having to drag my money, kicking and screaming out of my credit crunched account.

When the maintenance check was over, Gary turned to me and said it's all ship-shape... but then he said d'you mind if I use your loo? I hesitated because I do mind and that's the answer I was hoping would come out of my mouth. Instead I heard myself say OK, the door on the left! What???? I meant to say I MIND, YES I MIND!! I immediately broke out into a cold sweat. I hate strangers using my toilet more than I hate maintenance men coming round. Once a stranger sits on my toilet seat, it's then relegated to a public convenience. I'd have to clean it and if my soul wasn't satisfied, I'd have to go to Argos to get a new toilet seat. This was a catastrophe!

In no time, Gary appeared. He didn't smell of soap so I'm sure he didn't wash his dirty digits. He handed me his piece of paper for my signature and then he left.

So where does that leave me? I'll tell you where that leaves me, it leaves me wearing pink bloody Marigolds and having to sort out the damage.

It's put me right off my croissant & tea.