Sometimes you're better off...

...drinking water...













...and taking vitamins!

Excuse me, do you mind if I rob you?

Derron Brown up to his usual tricks.

Kissy, kissy!

I went to the surgery this morning; I’ve got a sore throat and I needed something to make it go away. When I finally sat in front of the doctor, I was taken aback by one of the biggest hickey’s I’ve ever seen in my life. Not even Tina Cooper the class ho in 1984 could beat a hickey like Dr Linklater’s! It was purple and painful looking, it was also enormous. About the size of a saucer… OK, not so big but it was massive and ugly and reminiscent of being up for it and making out and sex on the living room floor. All of the things that are well and truly absent in the life of… well, some of the people I know! Anyway, forget all that. It made me think less of her, but a hickey can’ t stop a doctor from doing her job, but I found myself thinking that if she can’t even be bothered to hide the thing, why would she be bothered in getting my diagnosis right much less the prescription. I know that a hickey doesn’t stop someone from being smart, caring, good at their job, but something inside me bristled a bit and became rather snobby when faced with a doctor and a hickey; they just don’t go well together!

If I ever see you again, it will be too soon!

I love Beyonce's song Irreplaceable. Many women can identify with the lyrics. Some of us have reached the point of no return when a relationship breaks us and we then become deaf, dumb and blind to a man we would have previously laid down our life for.

When self preservation kicks in and a woman has to fight for her sanity, fight for her pride, fight for her children, fight for her money and whatever else has been stripped away from her, the man in question says to the woman I didn't know you could be so cruel, I didn't realise you were so heartless, I'm surprised at how cold you've become.

Well the decision to put yourself first can be very unsentimental.

Diary Entry: 8th July, 2008 – Something to Die For

I received this comment via my contact form from a guy who goes by the name of Dark.Mark1on1 about one of my diary entries and I thought I ought make his voice heard:

An excerpt from Dark.Mark1on1

"...and I don't know who you are August Mayfield, but you've made me think again about why some of us youth carry knives and how it destroys not just one life but many. So this is just to let you know you made me stop and really think what is it that I'm really fighting for?

Sometimes as a young man... we think it's more important to demand respect instead of earning it... "

I just want to say to Dark.Mark1on1 that I hear his voice and thank him for printing my diary entry and posting it on his college notice board. Thank you!

What does your Star Sign say about your Favourite Tipple?

My friend emailed me this fab doc on drinking styles of the different zodiac signs. See if you recognise yourself or someone you know.

The Alcohoroscope

Falling in Love

Isn’t it beautiful when you fall in love! Life is just wonderful. Nothing bothers you. You’re glowing, happy and smiling and you’re in a protective bubble where nothing can vex you, not even a parking ticket!

It’s not just the falling in love either, it’s the being in it and staying in it that makes people feel so deep-down happy and content.

My friend Coco is in the first flush of love at the moment. She’s been in love before but nothing quite like this. She’s been totally smitten for the past six weeks and by the looks of things, he’s 100 per cent smitten with Coco too. She loves his hair, his eyes, his nose, his mouth, his skin, his voice, his clothes, his toes! She loves the way he makes her feel, they way he looks at her, the way he touches her and the way he kisses her.

She gives me a blow by blow account of everything, from the way he eats to the way he belches. There are some things I wish she would keep to herself but she’s just brimming over with passion that it’s difficult for her to keep it all inside.

I’m very happy for Coco; very happy indeed. The feeling of love is quite intoxicating. So intoxicating that when I see her these days, just looking at her beaming makes me feel like I too am being splashed with whatever it is that’s spilling from of her cup overflowing with love!

The August Mayfield Diaries

Promises, Promises!

My son Daniel had his first interview for a part time job and he was excited, nervous and apprehensive. I said to him, son it's 50/50 when you go for an interview. It doesn't always depend on your performance as an interviewee whether or not you get the job, but do your very best and the rest will fall into place. I said to him not to be devastated if he didn't actually get the job and once the interview is over, to put it out of his mind instead of going over and over it in his head about what he could have done and what he should have done and whether or not he'll get it.

Read more ...

The Pursuit of Happyness

The film The Pursuit of Happyness is a few years old.

It's a true life story about a man Chris Gardner who, due to unfortunate circumstances, became penniless and homeless. This predicament didn't last long because Chris managed to turn his life around with self-belief, demanding a better life for his son and determination.

He didn't let the system beat him, he beat the system. Actually, sometimes the system is your state of mind... so there!

The video is of the real Chris Gardner who the film The Pursuit of Happyness was based on

The August Mayfield Diaries

I Want My Toy Boy to look like a Toy Boy

I met my friend Shona for cocktails and spicy food at The Satay Bar in South London for a very belated celebration of my birthday. We couldn't meet earlier because Shona was in hospital having a bum operation. Yes, poor thing had to have the surgeon's knife on her batty. She had a complaint like piles or something I normally associate with old people. Knowing the very up-market Shona, she was probably having cosmetic surgery to make her what's it look pretty! Anyway, we met to celebrate; catch up; do the taste-test on several cocktails and fill our bellies with some of the finest Far Eastern cuisine in Brixton.

Read more ...

The History of Money...

...in less than five minutes!