How not to get your arse kicked by the police in the United States of America!

Chris Rock shows you step-by-step how to behave yourself to avoid an arse-kicking from the polce.

The August Mayfield Diaries

Secret Shopper

I sent my children to buy some clothes for my cousin's christening. I hate shopping and normally buy my clothes on line so the thought of shopping with two teenaged boys made me feel quite ill so I gave them the money and sent them on their way. They're normally quite good when it comes to selecting what they need but that's when it's casual clothes. I was a little nervous because they had to purchase smart items, but I was still unwilling to accompany them thinking they're old enough to buy a shirt and a pair of trousers that don't have a sport logo on it.

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I hate you so much right now!

I used to love this song by Kelis. Not because of the bitterness of the lyrics but because it used to remind me of a Mr Miguel Sanchez.

From the moment we met, he made me feel free and happy and beautiful. He loved me exactly the way I was and I have never met a man who didn’t want to change me before I met Miguel or since. While we were clubbing many years ago, the DJ played this song and Miguel said to me, this is what you’re going to say to me one day – "I hate you so much right now"! I looked at him and said no way, NEVER EVER and then we carried on dancing!!



The world's a funny place! Miguel Sanchez hates ME so much right now. I doubt he'd spit on me if I were on fire.