Shoo flu... go away!

I spoke to my flu this morning as if it were a person.

It was 7am and I had the shivers. My temperature was going up and down like a drum & bass equalizer. My head was throbbing and my throat felt like sand paper. Also, for some reason, my stomach was churning as if I wanted to throw up and if there's one thing I hate doing it's throwing up! So I said to the flu "sorry but I haven't got time for this. I've been in pain all week because of tooth ache. I need to go shopping for my son's birthday and I have no choice but to go to work tonight because I put my name down to do some over-time this weekend so that my bank account looks pretty. I have no intention of succumbing to illness so you may as well just go away. Let me just reiterate: I haven't the time nor energy or patience for flu". With that, I gulped down 2 parts lemon, 1 part honey and 3 parts brandy and went to bed.

I woke up five hours later, soaked in sweat but PRAISE THE LORD, feeling 100% better.

I was serious. I didn't have time for illness. Thank goodness my body complied otherwise I would have been vexed all day long!