I could have been a pole dancer

In a former life that is! A family-free, child-free life. A life where I had fit thighs and no stretch-marks. A life where I wouldn't faint if I hung upside down trying to look sexy and tantalising while swinging around a pole.

I've always been fascinated by pole dancing. Lap dancing does nothing for me especially because the "punters" touch you and I don't want to be touched. I just want to tease and look sexy.

I love the fact that pole dancers are super fit too. I like the idea of being able to use the muscles only a pole dancer can use to keep myself from smashing into the ground, head first while looking sexy.

I know that pole dancing lessons are available and it's something I'm going to investigate because when my children leave home, I'm going to need a new hobby. I'll erect a pole in their empty bedroom and swing around and around to my heart's content. I might even charge an entry fee. But if anyone touches me, I'll blacken their eyes with my fists!