Who's going to feed us when your neck's broken?

This morning, I decided to make an early start on the housework. It's been sorely neglected all weekend because I've been doing double shifts at work.

I scrubbed and cleaned and vacuumed and dusted and took care of everything you can see and some of the things you can't.

My pink Marigold's wondered what the devil had got into me. They were in and out of a bucket of bleach like a Domestos manufacturer.

While I was cleaning a stain on the wall, I noticed that the living room clock had stopped. I got out the new batteries and looked up at the clock, fully well knowing that I couldn't reach it. It's too high up on the wall for me to reach without a step ladder. I looked around, searching for something to stand on because I couldn't be bothered to get the step ladder out of the cupboard. I reached for the wobbly office chair on wheels and climbed up to take the clock off the wall.

As soon as both feet were on the chair, my children were standing around me like tourists looking at The Eiffel Tower! My eldest son shouted at me. SHOUTED. At me? Well I was confused because this was a new tone to my ears. My children never shout at me. The child said "get down off the chair, it's dangerous". As I looked down from the lofty heights of the wobbly chair, I started to lose my balance and then the other child started shouting too. He was saying "see, that's stupid, you could fall down and break your neck and who would look after us? Who would feed us?"

I climbed down and shoved the batteries into the chest of the tallest child and said "here, you do it".

Who would feed us indeed! I've got the telephone number of at least three different children's homes - fully equipped for kids who shout at their mothers.

I know, I know... my children were just showing me that they care!