A Certified Spinster

My friend Jade’s been looking for love for the past 12 months. She’s tried speed dating, on-line dating, a few blind dates and endless nights of clubbing or crawling around wine bars hoping to get lucky. She’s even tried ‘not looking’ in the hope of something coming her way when she least expects it.

She gave herself a year to find love and she’s only got 14 days left to come up with someone or something otherwise come 2010, she'll be a certified Spinster! But this morning, she called me spitting blood, saying how vex she’s feeling because she’s just been looking through her free Local Guardian Newspaper and while she’s been going through their "Two’s Company" section, she’s noticed that there are about 50 single guys looking for different degrees of love.

What she’s mad about is the fact that loads of single men probably pass her by when she’s going about her daily business and she wanted to know why they chose to hide behind these 'twenty-five words or less' adverts in the free newspapers instead of taking the courage to actually talk to a walking, living breathing human being.

Jade said when she’s on the bus, men don’t even want to make eye contact. While she’s packed into a tube carriage pressed up against strangers, men keep their eyes fixed on anything but her. While she’s shopping, no one tries to pass the time of day. When she makes conversation in the news agents with a stranger, that’s as far as it goes. She said she’s been chatted up twice this year and one of the men was a drunken vagrant. She almost took him up on his offer because that’s the only offer she had in about four months!

She said when she makes the effort to present herself nicely to the world, no one even looks at her but they’re all there, filling in stupid forms and sending it to their local Guardian telling the world that they’re lonely and looking for love when love’s on their damn doorstep.

Before Jade hung up the phone, she said to me August, why don’t men just strike up a conversation? Personal ads are just... well... too impersonal! What’s so difficult about letting a woman know that you’re interested? I’ve been actively looking for love for a year. I’m a nice girl. Properly single; not divorced or separated. No kids. I work. I’ve got my own flat. My own teeth. I come from a good family. I’m not an ugly monster or a too-hot-to-handle hottie! I’m intelligent and AVAILABLE. Am I the problem?

Well she’s asking the wrong bird... I haven’t got a clue!