The Un-usual Suspect

My aunt was pick-pocketed in the bank.

She didn’t notice her purse was missing until she stood outside the bank to get her gloves out of her handbag and she noticed that her zip was undone and her bag was unusually wide open. The open bag aroused her suspicion so she frantically searched her bag for her purse and it was missing.

Then it all came back to her consciousness. She remembered as she was leaving the bank, an old lady sneezed but while she sneezed, she jolted forward and bumped into my aunt. The old lady started apologising profusely and made a big show of waving a floral hanky around and blowing her nose. At the same time, two other women came towards the old lady and there was a bit of a commotion going on. All this fuss must have been the time when my aunt’s concentration was diverted to something other than her handbag.

My aunt was so mad at being pick-pocketed that she ran straight back into the bank and grabbed the old lady by the lapels. Everybody gasped because my aunt, who’s not small, looked as if she was attacking a defenseless little grey haired old lady and as my aunt shook the lady by her lapels and said where’s my ****** purse, the purse fell on the floor!

When the old lady was apprehended by some of the members of staff, she took a screw-driver out of her pocket and stabbed the bank manager in the back of the his hand and spat at him.

Old ladies ain't what they used to be!