If you don't laugh, you'll cry

I was talking to the Newspaper Vendor this afternoon and asked about his daughter who used to be in the same class as my son when they were in primary school. I wanted to know if she'd gone on to seek further education or if she'd decided to go out there and look for a job.

The Newspaper Vendor said "oh that silly bloody cow. That stupid Moo! I've had nothing but problems with that girl since she turned 13. As soon as that girl grew big bazooka's, she turned into a little tramp! Well she's seven months pregnant right now and to top it all off, she doesn't know who the father is".

I said to The Newspaper Vendor, "I'm so sorry to hear that but you can't call your one and only daughter a tramp, I mean... " and he said to me "if that's what she is love, that's what she is. And I know she's mine and all and I love her to pieces and I'd do anything for her but I've been telling her mother for years THAT GIRL'S SO BLOODY EASY TO PULL, SHE'S LIKE A CHRISTMAS CRACKER"!

I waited for a few seconds and then I couldn't hold it in anymore; I burst out laughing. Unfortunately, The Newspaper Vendor didn't initially see the funny side of it and then he gave me a big smile and then said "if you don't laugh love, you'll cry".