Jealous of a WAG... me? No!
Well that's a big fat lie, the 
answer is yes I am. Yes, yes, yes and yes again! Only in the sense of: "good luck to the WAG, I'll carry on with my life and shop at Cost Cutters to buy economical chicken and pink Cava (tastes just like Champagne to me). And if I see her shopping in Cost Cutters along-side me, I'll take her picture with my camera phone and send it to The News of the World immediately".
I say this because it was brought to my attention that a lucky little WAG, Jessica Lawlor who so happens to be the girlfriend of Premiership footballer, Mid-fielder, Stephen Ireland received the fabulous gift of car on her 24th birthday. But lucky Miss Lawlor didn't receive just any car, she was presented with a pimped-out Bentley complete with an embroidered love-heart leather seat which says to Jess, Love from Stephen. The Bentley's worth £264,000.
Yes, I'll it again. Two hundred and sixty four thousand pounds!
For once, I don't know where I stand and don't know what to say! I'm caught on the fence. You see the problem is this. I know for sure that if my boyfriend bought me a Bentley, I'd be over the moon, blubbing and crying and carrying on. Phoning my sister, my friends and telling the world and his wife what a fabulous gift my lovely boyfriend bought me. Unfortunately (and ungratefully), this is where, yet again, I hang in the balance. If said boyfriend bought me a car that was as pimped-out as this white Bentley, my smile would turn upside-down. I can't pretend that there wouldn't be an element of vexation.
Why? Because the car looks like a kitted out Ford Fiesta. It’s not pretty at all. In fact, as expensive as it is and as lovely as it ought to be, it looks a bit tacky and chavvy.
So on the one hand I'm saying YOU GO GIRL, HIGH FIVE. But on the other hand, I'd be taking him to one side and asking him the question "didn't you see a cute BMW, a fab Mercedes or a neat little Audi TT while you were in the car show room? And what's with the kit? A Bentley IS NOT A TOY TO BE PLAYED WITH."
I'd be more than happy to receive and accept such a beautiful, expensive and generous gift for my birthday but I'd positively, definitely want the receipt so that I could change it for something with a bit of class.
But what can I say while I'm confidenty sitting on this fence of mine?
Well if I ever receive a kitted out Bentley for my birthday worth thousands and thousands and thousands of pounds, my words might be a lot more humble.
answer is yes I am. Yes, yes, yes and yes again! Only in the sense of: "good luck to the WAG, I'll carry on with my life and shop at Cost Cutters to buy economical chicken and pink Cava (tastes just like Champagne to me). And if I see her shopping in Cost Cutters along-side me, I'll take her picture with my camera phone and send it to The News of the World immediately".I say this because it was brought to my attention that a lucky little WAG, Jessica Lawlor who so happens to be the girlfriend of Premiership footballer, Mid-fielder, Stephen Ireland received the fabulous gift of car on her 24th birthday. But lucky Miss Lawlor didn't receive just any car, she was presented with a pimped-out Bentley complete with an embroidered love-heart leather seat which says to Jess, Love from Stephen. The Bentley's worth £264,000.
Yes, I'll it again. Two hundred and sixty four thousand pounds!
For once, I don't know where I stand and don't know what to say! I'm caught on the fence. You see the problem is this. I know for sure that if my boyfriend bought me a Bentley, I'd be over the moon, blubbing and crying and carrying on. Phoning my sister, my friends and telling the world and his wife what a fabulous gift my lovely boyfriend bought me. Unfortunately (and ungratefully), this is where, yet again, I hang in the balance. If said boyfriend bought me a car that was as pimped-out as this white Bentley, my smile would turn upside-down. I can't pretend that there wouldn't be an element of vexation.
Why? Because the car looks like a kitted out Ford Fiesta. It’s not pretty at all. In fact, as expensive as it is and as lovely as it ought to be, it looks a bit tacky and chavvy.
So on the one hand I'm saying YOU GO GIRL, HIGH FIVE. But on the other hand, I'd be taking him to one side and asking him the question "didn't you see a cute BMW, a fab Mercedes or a neat little Audi TT while you were in the car show room? And what's with the kit? A Bentley IS NOT A TOY TO BE PLAYED WITH."I'd be more than happy to receive and accept such a beautiful, expensive and generous gift for my birthday but I'd positively, definitely want the receipt so that I could change it for something with a bit of class.
But what can I say while I'm confidenty sitting on this fence of mine?
Well if I ever receive a kitted out Bentley for my birthday worth thousands and thousands and thousands of pounds, my words might be a lot more humble.
posted by August Mayfield at
10:51
9 Comments:
What a lucky bitch!
Does this type of thing really happen in REAL LIFE? I must be doing something wrong.
I am definately doing something wrong -I don't even have a boyfriend.
Rose
August, do you really want to be a WAG? It must be hell dying your hair blond, getting fake nails and fake breasts and acting like a f*****g bimbo. But I'd do all of the above for a bentley.
Donna - I'm not mad!
Hands up ladies, who wouldn;t want to b a wag? I'd eat glass. Walk on hot coals.
Wear a bikini 24/7. Be bulimic! Dye my hair, inflate my breasts, shape my fanny hair like a love heart. WHAT EVER!!
What to think? Would I want a souped up car? It's a lot of money. I don't know . I think yes. I'd go for it. When I woz Aged 24, I would go for a lot less. I remember like yesterday. Beleive me*
I'm sure Rose took the words out of my mouth. I've not even got a boyfriend? How d'you get one of those?
I don't want to become desperate but I'd even accept a Mecanno Toy Bentley at this rate.
Donna, I'm sure you heard me when I said I'M SITTING ON THE FENCE.
I might be a WAG with major modifications, or then again, I might not.
Oh, hell Donna, I don't know what I'm saying!
August
I'd be a wag. I'd do it with gritted teeth. It all seems a bit bimbo to me. OK, where do I sign up. West End Clubs? Expensive Bars? Shall i get my tits out? So cynical. Alright, less cynicism, I want to be a wag!
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