Alright, alright! Everybody stay calm.

So I'm at the petrol station, minding my own business. Trying not to look at chocolates and dirty magazines. These things are all in my line of vision unfortunately but I was trying to look innocent all the same. It's funny how when you're not guilty of anything, you try hard not to look guilty of anything and then you just end up looking guilty of something.

You know the feeling, like when you're walking through the airport and you see the sign which says NOTHING TO DECLARE. The sign makes you want to declare something, even your box of Lemon and Ginger tea from Thailand. Or when a police car's driving right behind you and you're not speeding and you haven't had a drop of alcohol to drink and everyone's wearing their seat-belts. You feel a sense of guilt even though you're guilty of nothing.

Well anyway, like I was saying, I was waiting in the queue at the petrol station.

While waiting, I overheard the guy who was at the front of said queue making a bit of a fuss with the cashier and then he punched the display of anti-freeze and Quality Street triangles in the air and onto the floor! This to me was not a good thing. My heart started to race and I was in fight or flight mode...

...and then the spitting started.

At this point, I reached over the shoulder of the spitting man, slammed three ten pound notes down on the counter, shouted at the cashier "pump number three" and left post-haste!

I have no idea what the fight was about, but when people start spitting, this is an invitation to fight and all I wanted to do was pay for my petrol. I wasn't in the mood for getting involved in anyone's drama, so I ran out of there like Usain Bolt.

People; you need to know, when the spitting starts, it's time to get the hell out.