Sex for Sale....20% discount for the unemployed!

I saw my local prostitute today. I live near a Red Light area - which is no problem for me. When money gets tight and I need to make a bit of loose change, I've not got far to go. In fact, I could probably do punters in the shed in the back garden. I've got it all planned. Anyway... where was I?

Oh yes, Maggie, the local prostitute did her usual. Asked me for cigarettes, a quick look in my little vanity mirror and a blob of hand-cream (after years of begging me for stuff, she knows the contents of my handbag) and she said her usual "what's cooking"?

Right in the middle of our deep conversation (she was explaining the merits of being self employed), Maggie ran into the bushes. I looked around thinking I wonder if I'm missing something here because I'm sure I was just talking to Maggie and then I saw a police van driving up the hill. Well Maggie must of smelt them coming because I didn't see the van until it was about 50 yards down the road! When it was safely in the distance, she re-appeared, a bit dishevelled and dusting leafs off her mini skirt! She said those f****** w*******s! I can smell 'em a mile off.

Well that was my cue to get going. I had no business waiting around for the police car to do a U-turn and accuse me of soliciting. The shame of it! Plus I was thinking, if I got strip-searched by some over-zealous police officer in the back of the van, my underwear didn't match and I'd be quite embarrassed being violated wearing pink polka dot knickers and a blue bra. I may have hung around if I were wearing matching Victoria's Secret.