Addicted to Coke!

Yes I am people... My name is August Mayfield and I'm a Coke Addict!

Hold up, hold up, stop right there - don't get the wrong idea. I'm addicted to coca cola. Dare you not imagine cocaine. The Devil's dandruff! Me? Oh no.

It's with a heavy heart that I say this because I've been told that if I don't stop drinking coca cola, all of my teeth are going to fall out. But I love coke, it makes me happy!

My dentist, Doctor Alex Salvatore said to me the reason why I have to charge you half of your monthly wages on this occasion is because you're ruining your teeth with excess sugar.

I told Dr Alex that I hardly take part in the sugar department. I assured him that I mostly eat 'good for you' food, I look after my health and brush my teeth twice a day, I floss and use mouth wash; what more does he want? Dr Alex then said do you drink tea and coffee with lots of sugar? I said Oh No, not me! But I did admit that my only weakness is the odd can of coke. He said OK, so how many cans of coke do you consume every week 'approximately'? Well I told him the truth, I only drink one can a day, some days three. Well this man grabbed me by the scruff of my neck and shook me hard and said WHAT?? I say the scruff of my neck and mention shaking, but I really mean he didn't grab me at all. I'm just translating the way he looked at me. He made me imagine that he grabbed me by the lapels and shook me hard. But what he said was "I advise you to lay off the coca cola and for the time being, just drink water. It will save you a lot of money and your teeth in the long run".

I'm vain enough to take this mans advice. After all he's a professional dentist and I really don't relish the idea of smiling with teeth the shade of tree bark. But I can't promise you that I'll be in the best of moods while this cold turkey's going on. I'm not looking forward to this lack of coke at all.

I might have to find me a new habit!