I didn't steal your condoms...

...well actually, in order not to burn in hell, I think the truth is my name is August Mayfield and I'm a condom thief!

It my eldest brother's birthday today. I thought today might be a good day to get a 25 year old confession off my chest.

Me and my brother are both at a happy place in our lives so I thought he'd be forgiving... especially as it's his birthday and all that. Also, I buttered him up with a watch as a birthday gift.

Well going back to the confession; I managed to finally tell him that when I was about 10, I found some condoms in his drawer and decided to bring the coloured ones to the park every week one hot summer to have water-balloon fights with my friends.

Very shortly after that hot summer of trips to Battersea Park and crazy water-fights, his resident girlfriend became pregnant. I never quite had the heart to tell him that I might be loosely responsible for my nephew's existence until today.

Considering my nephew is a credit to the Mayfield family, my brother's heart didn't give him an attack!

So instead of feeling like the "unforgiven", my big brother's forgiven me... and he didn't smash the watch I gave to him with love with a hammer.