I can't breathe without you

My friend Michelle said that her boyfriend's a bit dull and lack-luster. He’s so laid back; he always seems to be on a chaise lounge; either literally or in his imagination. He can't make decisions, he's afraid of taking the next step, he's relunctant to make plans and Michelle's getting to the stage where she wants to get married, move in together and have children and his response is "I don't think I can cope with all that yet"!

She said she needs to re-evaluate the relationship because she needs a demonstrative man who's singing from the same hymn-sheet as she is. She said she dreams of having a partner who pays full attention to her every whim; he needs to think that I’m the dogs b*llocks; the best thing since sliced bread; he needs to want to see me first thing in the morning and last thing at night.

She also said he needs to believe that I’m the most wonderful treasure on God’s green earth and he’s the luckiest man in the whole wide world to have someone as wonderful as me!

Lastly, she said if I leave him, I want him to end up in hospital because he simply can’t breathe without me!

My God, she doesn't ask for much.